Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
