i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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