Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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