I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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