I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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