Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
