Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
do herpes really smell.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
