I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
