I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
