well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
