Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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