I wish i was in the wii world.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
