Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
