I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
