people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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