Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
