I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
