Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
