you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
