He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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