Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
