Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
