I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
