We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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