I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
