Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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