gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize