Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
