dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
