so that wasnt chicken after all
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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