There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The power of my boobs compel you
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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