i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
This toilet bowl is my home.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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