maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
