Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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