Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
