He uses pillows to masturbate.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
