We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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