So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize