i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
