I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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