...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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