Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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