cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize