im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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