we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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