what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
