That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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