But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize