wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
