I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize