But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
