found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
