I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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