did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize