ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
