he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just found a bag of teeth...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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