i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
