pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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