we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
