whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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